I See New Appliances in My Future

As I sit here writing this my dishwasher is making to most awful noises. The sad thing is, is that the darn thing is only 6 years old. I wish builders would put reliable appliances in the house when they build them.

Like we aren't paying ridiculous amounts for a new home in the first place?

I just refuse to go buy another until this one absolutely quits working.

Ah the joys of owning a home.

Hindsight

After ready my last couple of posts I feel, well I feel bad. Yes I am extremely glad that Dexter is not with us. I believe that he needs to be at home with his mom. But the main reason for that is that she knows his illnesses. The boy had some serious issues. And I think that is what scared & stressed me the most.

He was not up front with us about them. he mom explained a little when I saw here. But when I went to the school, well they scared to crap out of me. The boy was in the hospital for 6 months and missed an entire year of school because of the seizures. In that 6 months at the hospital a good portion of that was in a coma. He had not idea who what and when, when he came out of the coma. And from what the nurses stated there was a whole lot more going on with Dexter.

Of course when I said anything to Dexter he started spinning his stories. Everyone else did not know what they were talking about. And I was wrong for listening to them. I think that is what bothered me most because I could see he had no intentions on following what MD and I would request.

The second and most important reason for wanting him out was Mikayla. She was extremely uncomfortable with him here and did not like being alone with him. I did not want to be uncomfortable in her own home. My responsibility is to her first she is my child not Dexter. This was not conveyed to him as I did not believe he needed to know. But this is her home first.

MD said Dexter came by yesterday afternoon to pick up his medicine that he forgot. MD said that he seemed like he was on drugs or "stoned". I explained that he seemed like that before he left. I asked who brought him here, was it his mom? He said no and he did not know who it was. Dexter said everything was okay. I feel bad for him, but he brings on most of his problems himself, not those around him.

Off to work I must go. The landfill work calls. Man them places are loud, dusty, and stinky.

Back down to Three

So Dexter's plans to get a ride to school failed him. At 11pm the very evening he was arguing with MD and I about riding the bus his friend called and said he COULD NOT pick him up. HA lesson learned there, MD & I are usually right.

Yesterday morning Dexter got on the bus, I finished getting ready and started to leave the house to take Devin to school. The phone rang, it was Dexter. He forgot to take his medicine (if he does not take his meds he WILL have a seizure)so that left me responsible to get him his medication. So I got Devin in the car and off the Dexter's school we went. I got there and the nurses refused to accept the medication (knowing full well Dexter needed it) because I did not have a doctors note nor did I have the pharmacy bottle (this I never had). I explained that I did not have the time to wait for Dexter's bus to get to school. They suggested that I go speak with Ms. Principle. Fine I knew her very well thanks to Devin so hopefully she would help me.

I found that Ms. Principle was in a meeting, I did not care. I walked to the door and tapped, politely asked if she could speak with me for a minute. Surprisingly she came out. I explained what was going on and she lifted her eyes to the ceiling and held out her jacket pocket. I immediately took the hint and dropped Dexter's meds in her pocket. She asked how things were going with Dexter at our house, so I briefly gave her a rundown of things going on. She said that when she spoke with him and found out that he was with us she had to laugh. She told him that he went from the frying pan to the fire. He said he did not understand what she was saying. So she told him that she knew me and that I was even stricter than his mother. And that I never take no for an answer. She said she just had to giggle. I explained I had to go and that I was going to be late for work and still had to take Devin to school.

They day went on then Dexter's mom called me to explain that he was trying to leave school early. I was thinking "this is my problem why". She went on to say that if he left he was getting 10 days suspension. She knew that if he did not go to school he would NOT be staying any longer at my house. we talked (rather she talked) of other things and I finally said that I needed to get back to work. Within the hour Ms. Principle called asking if I was still at work? My reply was yes. She asked what time I got off work, my reply 5pm. She went on to tell me that Dexter left school but was still wondering around the school grounds trying to get a ride to my house. I explained that I was NOT going to leave work to get him. He wan walk since he decided to leave early and refused to ride the proper bus. She talked some more then again I explained that I needed to get back to work. An hour later Ms. Principle called again. wanting to discuss the suspension with me (um why? I am not mom), at that point I explained that Dexter was at my home (Mikayla called and let me know) and that I could not discuss him at that moment. She asked if she could call the house to speak with him, I gave her the number.

I had called MD explained everything that went on with my day and Dexter. I am stressed beyond stressed. I have not been this stressed even with everything with Devin and that is ridiculous. While I was running errands with Mikayla MD explained to Dexter that he had to go, that I was a mess and he could not have that. I took Dexter home after we had dinner. His mom I don't think really wanted him to come home but I was not giving either of them a choice. Dexter tried several times in talking me out of it. My answer was work this out with your mom. He repeatedly tried making me feel guilty for making him leave and I called him on it. I told him that it was not helping him that he kept doing that and all that was doing was making me mad. When I got to his mothers she was not answering the door, so I called her, told her he was at the door and to let him in. When she did I drove off and never looked back.

We really need to start saying no in the future.

Never take anything at Face value

In my last post I mentioned that we have let one of Devin's friends stay with us after a police officer asked that we let him stay for a while so he and his mother could cool off.

Well that was 4 days ago and we still have the young man here. I asked that he speak with his mother on Sunday to work things out and make sure he had plenty of medication (this is something I will go into in a bit). When he was brought back again by the police I asked what happened. He said she is crazy and refused to give him clothes and they got in another arguments.

He tried with all his might to get Felicia to side with him in the arguments. I would not budge in this. I tried explaining to him that we as mothers only want what is best for our children. Even if it does not seem like it to the kid.

Needless to say the stories kept coming. I tried to keep giving this confused young man the benefit of the doubt. Plus he somehow got on MD's soft side. For once it is I who is the heavy and MD is the soft one. I don't know what he sees in this kid I mean he is a nice kid and all but there is just something that bugs me. I don't know what.

MD and I had a discussion tonight with Dexter. Asking what his plans are, explaining that this was a temporary situation. Dexter started with stories on how awful his mom is, how awful his life is etc etc etc. MD sucking it up the whole time. Meanwhile I started see HUGE holes in his stories. Things he has told us before not jiving with what he is telling us now. We told him again that he needs to speak with his mom and work things out. He said that he could not she will not let him come home. She will not work things out with him. So I asked if it would help if I spoke with his mother. He adamantly refused that. Said that I could not and should not speak with his mother.

The bug got buggier!

I had to go take Mikayla to dance and on the way back I saw a policeman sitting in his car. I stopped and asked him questions. He said said that my idea about talking to his mom was a good one and I should probably do so. I said I was not exactly sure of where she lived, I just an idea of where. So he did me a favor, first he asked me the last name, I did not have that. So he check the police records of the two days that I mentioned. He found her address and gave it to me and bid me good luck.

I had a nice chat with his mom, found out a lot of the things he said were not true. He told us he had no other family to turn too, his grandmother was dead. That little bit of info crushed his mom. His grandmother is alive and well. Dexter has MAJOR medical issues. More than I am comfortable handling. She did say he was not welcome unless he was willing to follow her rules.

OMG he is doing it again right now, arguing with us about how he is getting to school. We told him to ride the bus he argued with us. I already spoke with his mom she said the principle tried to get him on the bus and he refused. Now he is arguing with us about it. I and starting to get very frustrated. Because now he does not want me to call the school.

His days are numbered I am telling ya. I don't like people trying to make a fool of me.

The House with The Swinging Door

Years ago when Felicia was still in high school she had a friend that was having problems at home. Kay (is what we will call her) was bouncing around from friends house to friends house. She was running out of places to go so Felicia asked if she could stay with us till graduation. I said yes with one stipulation, she had to follow the rules of the house. I did after all have brother and sister to think about.

Following house rules meant in by curfew, with the exception of being at work. Going to school everyday. And if you don't go to school you don't go to work. And helping around the house and picking up after yourself.

Well it lasted for a couple of weeks. Things happened and I explained to Kay that if it happened again she would not be welcomed to stay any longer. Then we found out that Kay had lice, since she slept with Felicia I check her and YES she had lice also! Bummer we have never had to deal with this ever. Then I check Mikayla and BAM she had them too. Devin escaped the bugs. I went to the store bought what I needed to de-bug the girls. They all of course had to stay home from school. Which meant they miss work. Kay decided she needed to work. I explained that 1 it was a health issue she should not be working at a restaurant with bugs in her hair. and 2 that was breaking the house rules. She said she was going to work. I said then she would have to find somewhere else to stay.

Now I did not totally turn my back on the girl, she still would come over and I would treat her hair. Then when they graduated she got ready here and I took pictures of the girls. But I could not have her staying here with refusing to follow rules. I do have to say we miss Kay and she was a very sweet and her and Felicia were such good friends and still are. Felicia just flew to Texas for her wedding. Kay brought her boyfriend here so he could meet us which I loved. I am glad she understood the reasons I would not let her stay with us.

Well it seems it's Devin's turn to bring home the lost puppy. We now have another boy living here. We will call him Dexter. The police showed up here Friday night and asked MD if he could stay with us for a while. What was MD going to say ....no? From what we understand there was a fight between he and his mother and she had him in a head lock and hitting him. I was shocked, I have met this women before, she is this little petite thing. It was hard for me to imagine this but then again I did only meet her once. He is 18 so I guess that is why the police let him go to a friends house vs family services. But now MD and I are wondering how long he will be staying. To listen to Dexter he is here forever or at least till graduation. I am not so sure about that. We will have to see how this affects Devin. So far it has been a good thing for Devin, but I can see where it will wear on him. I guess when that happens we will then have to decide what to do then.

What I can not believe is that these kids parents are not going nuts looking for them, wanting them back home. Kay never went back home. She left my house in early December, graduated high school a semester early (in December) and went to Texas to stay with an aunt. I wonder if we are going to have Dexter here that long?

And We Have Lift Off

Just received a call from a gentleman at Quest. We have an intake meeting appointment tomorrow at 1pm. He starts his new school on Wednesday. I was told that if I could get in at 9am tomorrow he will stay for the rest of the day.

I can't swing that at work on this short of notice. I mean I guess I could just do it but then I am leaving my office in the lurch with no assistants. We are all scrambling as it is trying to fiqure out how we are going to get everything our clients want done completed befroe the end of the year!

Funny coincidence is that first thing this morning the school finally emailed me back about a staffing meeting for Devin, we settled on a date and time, then couple hours later Quest called. Guess I can cancel the school meeting.

My calendar has so many scratch off marks from schedule changes it is ridiculous!

Mom and Dad don't worry about Devin. We are all HOPING that this is a good thing for him. The whole school is supposed to be like an IEP (Individual Eduction Program)and Devin will get a lot of individual attention/assistance. Or at least that is what we are told. Only down fall is that we have to provide transportaion. But they know we both work full time and are willing work with us on providing one way, either there or back. We shall see how that works out with everthing.

I think I need a drink.

We are in a Holding Pattern

I haven't said much lately about Devin and his goings on. Basically because that is we are in a holding pattern. He is not in trouble any longer legally with the exception of being on probation. That will not go away anytime soon. But when it comes to school the boy has mentally checked out.

For some reason this year he has decided he cannot get to his 1st or 4th hours on time. Our school district has this nifty little website that I can at anytime check in and see class work grades, attendance, tardies, special announcements, and lunch account balances. So when I noticed that he was having a problem getting to his 4th hour class I immediately emailed his principle looking for suggestions on what to do to head this off. Her response "let's wait till he gets to 10 first". Okay first off when you get to 10 tardies you get a 4 hour Saturday detention, which violates his probation (get in NO trouble in school or at home). I was very upset with this suggestion, I did not want to wait until it got out of hand. Guess the school does not believe in being proactive just reactive. SUCKS!

So I TRIED to head it off myself, explaining to Devin what will happen when he gets too many tardies. He of course gave all kinds of excuses on why he is late to just his one class. And nothing I could say would sink in. He ended up not only getting 10 tardies (which like I said got him one 4 hour detention) he got so many that he got 20 hours of detentions!

As if getting ALL these detention hours were not enough, Devin decided he would NOT do them. Which resulted in 3 days of in school suspension. And then I guess he got "bored" in that setting and goofed off. That landed him a 1 day out of school suspension. And then the next thing i know he has another 3 days in school suspension.

He did not get a clue on how his actions in school would affect him out of school. When we kept talking to him regarding just this fact he would respond every time with "my probation never said anything about tardies" and "they can't do anything about me in school".

Last Friday he was proved VERY wrong. His probation officer had us come in for a meeting, and SHE explained to Devin that what and how he behaves in school very much affects his probation. She was very upset with him and she let him know it. She explained that everything he does everywhere affects his probation and the courts decision on what to do with him. She revised his probation rules explained each in detail. Hoping I guess to make him understand the severity of the situation.

It did not sink in.

She showed up for her bi-weekly meeting with him that very next Monday. And found out from him, MD, and I that he did not follow his rules over the weekend! She was set to send him to DYS (division of youth services). Devin plead his case and talked her out of that. But he could not talk her out of sending him to Quest. Quest is a state run transition school for kids coming out of DYS or kids on their way in.

Oh did I mention that NOW the school wants to discuss Devin's progress or there lack of. Now really? I have been asking for help for the last 2 months. I explained that I would love for them to finally help me and Devin. And that I have already contacted the Learning Disabilities Association (at the request of his neurologist) and they too are reviewing his IEPs and grades. Funny thing, after I mentioned who I contacted, they never responded back to me. Still waiting.

Probation officer contacted me Friday to inform me that the Quest office will be contacting me this upcoming week to schedule and in-take meeting and get Devin transferred.

On the up side!!!!!!! Devin has been working with MD on the weekends. They have been getting along much better. And as far as his attitude..........it has been fabulous. That is the one thing that throws everyone. Even when he is in the principles office for the tardies, she said he was extremely pleasant to speak with. Probation officer says the same thing.

So just sitting on the holding pattern, waiting for take off.

Who is Your Inner Pegan Goddess

Diana

Diana is the chaste huntress of Greek/Roman mythology. She is also the goddess of the moon, therefore her movement is just as mysterious and shadowy. She is very moody, the opposite of her brother the sun god Apollo, but very protective of innocence.

Okay I buy it.

Another Business Endevor

Audrey is once again looking for that extra income to help her make ends meet. It is hard being a single mom. But what's harder is a single mom with expensive taste, and that is my sister. Don't get me wrong she has toned down her spending since she got her divorce. But she still has champagne taste. That and the ex doesn't seem to want to pay his child support. Oh but that is a different rant for another day.

She has taken on little side jobs (so to say) to help supplement her income. I forget all of them but I do remember there was Pampered Chef and now Lea Sophia jewelery. I hosted a party for both of these little endeavors. Of course I did benefit also, you know getting the "free" stuff.

My friends and neighbors were great, they all came to show support for my sister.

They showed SO much support I was able to get over $700 worth of jewelery for $130. And Since I rarely wear jewelery I shared my good fortune with a few friends that are in tough spots right now. Some are single moms with college kids, some are in the middle of a separation/divorce. So I let them partake in some discounts also.

Besides I really do not need that much jewelery.

Even our friend Cindy flew in from New York to come to my party to help Audrey!

Actually she was flying in anyway, Missouri is part of her territory and she gets to visit whenever she has to be in town.

I wish Audrey all the luck in the world. But what I really wish is that she would get out of the money pit house she lives in and move her butt closer to me. Lot easier to help and hang together if it didn't cost 1/2 a tank of gas to see her!

Firemen + Sand Volley Ball = FUN

Last Sunday the weather was absolutely beautiful. Not hot and not cold, as Little Red Riding Hood would say it was just perfect.

Jodi and I have an old acquaintance that we have re-connected with on FaceBook and he is a Fireman in the area. He posted (on FB) that they were doing a fundraiser for MD at their local union hall, Sand Volleyball and for anyone interested to come on out.

I was looking for an excuse to get out of the house. So I called a couple friends and off we went.

I am not sure how I did it, but I got Devin to go with me and enjoy the weather with his mom. He refused to play but he did take all the pictures. And he did a very good job if I might say.

He got quite a few "action" shots.

Denny (our fireman friend) was very excited that Jodi and I came to play.

Said his team needed all the help they could get.

I am guessing that they lost the first round they played before we got there.

Jodi and I explained that it had been years since we have played so don't expect a miracle.

We got on our ready and gave it our all. We actually made some VERY impressive shots. That is if I do say so myself. I did surprise even myself and Nathan (my friend Alicia's son).

(my victory dance)

Class Reunion

Last weekend was my 25 year class reunion. I decided that this year I would attend, the only other reunion I attended was our 10 year and that was just to show off MD (since we were still newlyweds). And thanks to FaceBook I have actually gotten to get reacquainted with a few lost friends.

This years reunion was held at a local park and of course the weather did not cooperate. It rained sporadically all day and was cold. Which in turn kept a lot of people from attending. But those of us die hard goofballs had a good time reminiscing.

Some I remember well and could even recognize. Others WOW they have changed.

I don't mean changed in a bad way, just changed. Some lost a lot of weight, some gained.

I think time alone killed a few of my memory cells but then again I did have a graduating class of over 700.

Noway I could know EVERYONE I graduated with much less know the over 2,500 people that attended my high school in any given year I was there.

So Much for Beauty

I had my first Laser Hair Removal appointment Sunday. Let me tell you what IT HURT! And don't let anyone ever tell you it does not. Denise (the esthatician) and I talked a lot during my session. I needed a distraction. But she was saying that some women do more than legs or bikini area done. They get the entire "nether region" done. I mean are they freaking nuts. I mean okay it did not hurt to the point I could not finish the session, but I mean OMG that area is WAY too sensitive, too delicate, to freaking personal for someone to just be going in and lasering shit.

I mean look at this machine would you want this thing going anywhere near your nether region?

Oh, sorry got carried away there. So I survived through what "felt" like something between being snapped with a rubber band over and over & being pin pricked over and over. I go home with instructions that I am not to exercises (no sweating), no hot tubs, no extremely hot showers. I forget why something about hair follicles getting messed up.

I know how to follow directions and do as I'm told. But as lick would have it I still ended up with mumpy looking legs.

They did not start out this way. Sunday they looked normal.

Sunday night a few "bumps" started showing.

Monday morning lots of bumps started showing.



As Monday went on the "bumps" started turning

red and itchy. Now they OMG itch. I can not put enough aloe and cortisone on them fast enough. I called Denise today explained what was happening. Her response was "it's okay, it is common for that to happen. " When I told her that my legs looked like I had the mumps her voice turned excited and said "oh that's good, you should have good results".

Hu? Good results???? I am itching like a freak and she is excited??

I am so hoping that this will be worth it and there will be no more shaving come next summer.

A Little bit on Nothin

I really have not had anything I want to talk about lately, or at least nothing of note or interest. I must be getting the blaa's.

The boy is driving me crazy (nothing new there), Felicia is in Texas this weekend to participate in her friends wedding (this will not help with me getting to postpone hers for a year), and Mikayla has definitely entered the be mean and nasty to your parents teenage years. I have also been bad with my Boot Camp. I have missed my last two sessions, which makes me feel ..... well just really bad.

I am looking forward to my "Class Reunion Picnic" today. There is a plus to this week after all. FaceBook has reunited me with a couple of old lost friends and it will really be nice today to see them today. Hopefully the rain stays away as we are at a park with no cover.

I went yesterday to finally use that wonderful anniversary gift MD had gotten for me. I made the appointment and I thought I asked all the right questions. You know like do I shave or not. I don't know how laser hair removal works!!! The very nice man on the other end said no shave, there needs to be hair to "hook" onto (that statement right there SCARED me). I show up and sit in their very nice waiting room (I just LOVE spas) in a massage chair to DIE for. Finally they come call me in, have me change, and sit in a very low lit room for another while. Then the very nice estnatition comes in takes one look at my legs and says "I have to send you home you didn't shave". I explained to her I was told not too. She said that it has to be as "smooth" as possible and that if she continued today all we would do is smell burning hair (again another statement that scared me). I said okay I don't live far I will run home shave and come back (I did take the day off work for this). she said she did not have another opening until Sunday.

I am going back Sunday. Could not argue with the lady it was not her fault the idiot who answered the phone has no clue what he is doing.

That is pretty much it I guess. I really am TRYING to keep an upbeat attitude. So complaining too much will not help with that. Maybe I will vent later when it is safer.

HUMPF

He is a master of deception!

Here MD and I thought he saw the light, the error of his ways, the light bulb kicked on, whatever and however you want to say it. We thought he finally got a clue. Well now we are thinking maybe not so much.

School - he starts off great, doing homework, making an effort to be in class on time and participate. Within one week that was done. Within two weeks we are failing again. Within three weeks we are getting letters from school regarding tardies.

Friends - he started off making an effort to not hang with the "bad" boys. Going out and hanging with different kids (not sure yet if THEY are any better choices or not). Within three weeks he was back to hanging with the wrong boys again, and blowing off the friends he had just made.

The New Rules - Of course when he got to come home he was FABULOUS! followed every rule we and the courts gave him. Once school started.........well that is a different story. He started to refuse to help around the house, started coming home after curfew (court appointed curfew), started sneaking out at night, not calling his PO, and now back to smoking (yes this was a court appointed rule also especially seeing how he is not 18 yet).

We have reminded him regularly about his choices and what the consequences will be. I remind him that I will not lie for him if I am asked directly about his behavior and whether or not he is following the rules. he says that he does not want to get sent away again but every action, every tone of his speech, every movement he makes says otherwise. We have grounded him, taken things away from him (again), we have refused requests, we have offered rewards. Nothing, and I mean absolutely NOTHING is working.

Now teachers are contacting me telling ME I need to "fix" Devin. For one thing I tell them that I cannot do a thing about work/activities done three weeks ago. If they want me to be a bigger part of his school life they need to contact me a lot sooner than 3 weeks. They have my email (which is the fastest & easiest way to reach me), my cell number, and my work number. I am not unreachable. They come up with their own excuses for why they do not contact me sooner, my response is if you want me to help on your turf you need but only to ask. But ask sooner rather than later. I mean really, I am not going to get Devin to do work and turn it in if it will not count for towards his grade any longer. I have tried, it does not work. So asking for my help when my help will really not improve his grade anyway is a waste of every one's time.

Boys, I just do not get them. I am way to use to Felicia and Mikayla and their drive to excel and do well. Why does he not? Why are boys wired so differently? Why do only wrong, improper things motivate them? Why Why Why can he not do what is expected of him? Why does he think everything should just be given to him on a silver platter! We have never done this with him (yea he is spoiled but not that spoiled) or the girls. Don't get me wrong the girls are not angles by no means. But they know when to say when so to say. Maybe girls are just a different set of problems than boys.


I just........ I just don't know how to help him anymore. I just don't know what to do with or about him anymore.

Oh It Hurts So Good.

I had my fist night with my personal trainer. OH MY GRACIOUS (just being nice, not what I really wanted to say) I am sooo sore. He had Jodi and I run a mile, walk 1/2 mile, do some weird sideways run a quarter mile, turn and do it again. Then as if he had not induced enough pain upon us he had us do lunches AND squats! Then finally when we thought we saw the end he started on more! Next was 25 jumping jacks, then with our feet standing shoulder with apart we had to do circles with our arms. He said "once you FEEL the BURN do 15 more". Holy Crow the man knew how to hurt. Once that was done we had to make circles the other direction. Then he moved the pain to another part of my body and had us doing some kind of backwards push ups using the back to the car bumper and lower and raise ourselves. he said for the first night just do as many as we can. "It is not a contest" he continually told us. "it is not about how many we can do, but how we do it". And with that I did 5 and was done. But it seemed he was not, we had to do push ups next. Now here is where I sort of impressed him. I did only 5 but with my feet crossed on one foot. While he said this impressed him, I had to confess that this was the only way I could do them. If I have both feet down I can not do a push up at all. He laughed. Finally we had to stand, cross our legs and touch our toes. I did, and I am surprised that I did not fall over!

Finally we got a lecture on eating habits. At that point I informed him I have already been instructed that I need to consume 3,000 calories a day by my physician. So we discussed types of food and how to train my metabolism. Of which I already have this part of the training down pat and he agreed after we finished talking.

I am VERY sore and terrible afraid of how I will be feeling tomorrow! But I did it! I lived through the first night. I am afraid of Wednesday, which is my next session.

I did have to explain to him though that while Jodi wants to loose weight, I do not. I just want to firm up the jiggly parts. He said that it will not be a problem. That was good to hear. Don't want to do all this pain for nothing.