MD and I have been so excited that our oldest was a very ambitious and independent young lady. She always had wondrous goals and wanted to do many things before she ever settled down. So we encouraged her to be this independent adrenalin junkie girl. MD and I never went to University when we were young (I am doing it now), we never went out of the country by ourselves as she plans to do this summer (which I hope she still does). She had big plans for a career. So I guess you could say we lived vicariously through her and her adventures.
Well I guess you can tell that I am leading to something, something that.....well I am not sure about the rest of you out there in virtual world...but I was not looking forward to this until well after she graduated university and was working and enjoying life as a young person should.
She has announced that she is engaged to be MARRIED! Yes the boy did come ask MD permission, but that was just, just, I do not know... fake is the only word that comes to mind.
I have been told they would not have gotten engaged without our permission. WELL, they did not have my permission. As a matter of fact, this young man asked ME a year ago and I told him then that he needed to wait until they graduated college then come see us. BUT no, they (he) could not wait so he came over to speak with MD when he knew I would not be home, and of course MD did not say no. He said that they would do it anyway, but he did say that he did not want to see anything happen before they graduated.
So needless to say we lost all our excitement regarding her future. It is not that we do not like her boyfriend (but he is making it harder and harder all the time) it is just that she is only 19! She is giving up her youth, her time to be reckless, carefree, unattached. I wish that she would at least wait until she was in her mid 20's.
I know every parent wants better for their kids than they had it. Hind site is always 20/20 as they say. MD and I both say if we had it to do over there were parts we would do differently (me, would have been get my education completed sooner rather than later).
And all we want for her is not to have regrets. We have always supported her in any endeavor she has taken on. This should have been an exciting joyous time for her like engagements usually are (mine was fantastic), and now, it will not. It makes my heart ache to listen to her speak of University now. She does not like her classes, school is boring, this is not what she wants, etc. Our hearts and stomachs twist every time we hear her speak about it. It is like she is trying to prepare us for something else, and that ..we can not support her on. We are hoping this is just a phase that she will get tired of and come back to the overachieving, goal minded, independent and strong young lady we know and love.
I am trying my darnedest to be open about it, and I am willing to hear ANY suggestions. I am lost and spinning out of control on this one so any suggestions would be appreciated!