Friday, August 15, 2008

Is It Safe to Come Back??

Well, one post out of my ordinary babble about our house projects and it seems I ruffled some feathers.
Anyone concerned will be happy to know that I just forward on the information to the owners of my company and now its their problem and I am RUNNING the other way.
And for people who feel they must leave comments Anonymously, you should read this post at Huse Blog is it Anyway?
She says it all and so much better than I could ever had said it!
Now back to our regular programing.




FRIDAY FUNNIES






Dear Employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel.




Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future. Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately.



This program will be known as SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Personnel). Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company.


SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW.


SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management.


This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).


Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.


If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get: HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment).


As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.


Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our:


Special High Intensity Training (SHIT). We take pride in the amount of SHIT our employees receive. We have given our employees more SHIT than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough SHIT on the job, see your immediate supervisor.


Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the SHIT you can stand.


And, once again, thanks for all your years of service with us.

5 comments:

Huse Blog is it Anyway? said...

Those are funny! And that Huse Yo Mama girl....she's pretty cool. :-)

utmomof5 said...

Okay I so got your back. You are know one of my favorite blogs -- and Y will always leave my name with comment :)

Funny stuff!!!

All Things BD said...

That was awesome. However, I don't know if I can keep coming back to such a CONTROVERSIAL, button-pushing blog. :)

Kidding, kidding!! Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Cindi said...

Absolutely hysterical! And so true!

Felicia D said...

We can take her...I got yo back...lol