Thursday, March 26, 2009

A Dreaded Day Right From the Start

I have veered from blogging about our trials with Devin because, well continually dwelling on them was starting to bend my brain in ways that hurt. MD and I have come to the resound conclusion that we have and are doing everything we CAN to help this kid but he continually makes BAD choices. And with that we can not help him , therefore HE will have to deal with the consequences.

With all that said, last week Devin had an appointment with a Juvenal officer to decide if his offences were "court required" or if probation would suffice. Devin was amazing. He was respectful, answered questions when asked, spoke so one would be able to hear him, and dressed appropriately. The decision then was that probation would suffice and that he did not need to go to court and see a judge. We explained to Devin on the way home how proud we were of the way behaved at the meeting. That he was FINALLY making the right decisions (behavior choices). We even decided to lighten up on him at home (you know a little reward) and let him start seeing some of his friends.

The last three days proved that was a HUGE MISTAKE. Since we have allowed him to start seeing his friends his "attitude" and behavior has gone right back to nothing short of abominable. He is back to sneaking out (even with the alarm set, he found windows that are not triggered), not doing chores requested, speaking to us and his sister as if we were trash, and then this morning

I had to take Devin to meet his probation officer and to receive his rules of probation. I have NEVER been so MORTIFIED. His total LACK of respect for this lady was appalling. He sat there with eyes closed, mumbling when spoken to, arguing and sending daggers at me when I spoke. I honestly wanted to fly out of my chair and plaster him against the wall. The officer several time loudly spoke "HEY" to get him to look at her.

Finally when the session was done he just left and went to the truck (not waiting for me). At that time the office said to me "good luck". I smile at her with a humph and just shook my head. I apologized for Devin's behavior. I explained that he was not like this at all at the last meeting that his behavior was the total opposite of what she witnessed today. I could only surmise that he behaved this way because of his friends influences. They have told him that the probation is no big deal and that nothing will happen to him if he does not follow the rules (obviously they have first hand experience with this as they are ALL on probation) I had nothing else, no explanation why he behaved so poorly. She said she hopes that he really understands that she is not messing around with him and that she means business but she is not expecting as much with his behavior this morning. It sounded as she was preparing me for the fact that he will end up before a judge.

MD and I are now at a loss, not sure what to do next. If he makes it through the rest of the school year without getting sent away we are sending him to military leadership camp this summer. We have hope that they will be able to what we have failed to do.

What else can we do, lock him in a closet all the time? He unfortunately is going to find out all his life woes are not because of us, that he is creating his own demise. Life is getting very hard for Mr. Devin.

And we still have his physiologist session this afternoon, should prove to be more fun.


utmomof 5 said...

Sounds like his friends are the trigger! I would do everything in my power to not let him be near those kids. Let's hope the probabtion officer isn't joking around. He may have to learn his lesson that way. Keep up the tough love, it is really hard!

Good luck this afternoon!

Laggin said...

Why is it eating my comments? Do you moderate?

Laggin said...

Apparently not. Arrgh.

I wrote a big long responsive and don't have time to recreate it now. I'll come back.