Monday, July 27, 2009

When will he learn?

When will my kids ever learn......

We were your age once.....

We have been where you are now......

We have experienced what your going through..............

As parents MD and I want our kids to experience everything they can and learn their own lessons. We deep down believe that learning from ones mistakes (with a little help from us) teaches them right from wrong better than us parents always deciding everything for them.

The one thing we constantly say is EVERY ACTION HAS A REACTION. The reaction justifies the action be it GOOD or BAD.

My son has decided that MD & I know nothing. That when we tell him what he is doing is going to land him in trouble he thinks we are talking out our backsides.

He has been getting into some trouble the last 9 months.

So off to juvenile legal system we go. To start they put Devin on Probation. Rules of probation:

1. Call probation officer every Wednesday & meet twice a month

2. Daily curfew of 9pm (too late if you ask me)

3. Go to fire intervention school (this never happened)

4. get into no more trouble

Devin decided that fire school was not going to happen, curfew was optional, and so was calling his probation officer. At one of their meetings he explained to her that there rule are "stupid" and he was not going to pay attention to them. Well he kept to his word with one exception. He actually started coming home by curfew most nights. But everything else, he quite.

Now his friends were telling him that they would do nothing to him. Well maybe that would be true if we his parents did not stand on the side of the court. We told him that if he were to not start obeying the rules set for him then he and only he could be responsible for the reaction that would come from that. And soon the day would come that he would have to pay for those actions.

Today was his day for answering to everything. We went to court this morning. he sat before a Judge. Answering questions as asked. But what I do not think he excepted....he received two weeks detention. They escorted him out of the court room without even a glance at his farther or myself.

We were told that when they went in back, he had o clue what was going on. When it finally sunk in ...... huge sigh.

The detention officer called and said that Devin is asking for his night meds, so at least I get to see him and how he feels about this whole mess.

I hope beyond all hope that he is taking this time to realize what he needs to do to start undoing the mess he is in. He is not out of the woods yet, we have a second court date to attend. The second will determine whether or not he gets to come home or stay a ward of the court for I have no idea how long. It is all up to him at this point.

Really when will he learn?

4 comments:

Laggin said...

Oh goodness.

*hugs*

I'm guessing from your tone that you think this is best for him. Scared straight, I hope.

And if not, I wouldn't mind slapping him upside the head for putting you and MD through this.

Kids are so friggin' stubborn sometimes. But you guys are good parents. I believe that Devin will come around. He's just taking a longer trip than the majority.

He's still a project underway, mama!

Davi said...

Oh no!! Well, you get what you deserve in the end. I'm sorry for you, that you have to go through this, but I have not an ounce of pity for him. He wants to be a punk?? He can go play with all the other punks. I do hope, for you your sake, that he gets his shit together.

utmomof 5 said...

Oh my goodness. First hugs to you!! This cannot be easy as a mom to see you son go through.

It sounds like you are doing the right thing letting the natural consequences happen.

Good luck!

Cindi said...

As parents, we want our kids to learn from our life experiences. We present them with what we've learned and HOPE that they take it to heart.

Quite often they don't. They think they know almost everything, and as you said, what they don't know, their friends do.

Sigh.

I hope that this will be a turning point for him.