He is a master of deception!
Here MD and I thought he saw the light, the error of his ways, the light bulb kicked on, whatever and however you want to say it. We thought he finally got a clue. Well now we are thinking maybe not so much.
School - he starts off great, doing homework, making an effort to be in class on time and participate. Within one week that was done. Within two weeks we are failing again. Within three weeks we are getting letters from school regarding tardies.
Friends - he started off making an effort to not hang with the "bad" boys. Going out and hanging with different kids (not sure yet if THEY are any better choices or not). Within three weeks he was back to hanging with the wrong boys again, and blowing off the friends he had just made.
The New Rules - Of course when he got to come home he was FABULOUS! followed every rule we and the courts gave him. Once school started.........well that is a different story. He started to refuse to help around the house, started coming home after curfew (court appointed curfew), started sneaking out at night, not calling his PO, and now back to smoking (yes this was a court appointed rule also especially seeing how he is not 18 yet).
We have reminded him regularly about his choices and what the consequences will be. I remind him that I will not lie for him if I am asked directly about his behavior and whether or not he is following the rules. he says that he does not want to get sent away again but every action, every tone of his speech, every movement he makes says otherwise. We have grounded him, taken things away from him (again), we have refused requests, we have offered rewards. Nothing, and I mean absolutely NOTHING is working.
Now teachers are contacting me telling ME I need to "fix" Devin. For one thing I tell them that I cannot do a thing about work/activities done three weeks ago. If they want me to be a bigger part of his school life they need to contact me a lot sooner than 3 weeks. They have my email (which is the fastest & easiest way to reach me), my cell number, and my work number. I am not unreachable. They come up with their own excuses for why they do not contact me sooner, my response is if you want me to help on your turf you need but only to ask. But ask sooner rather than later. I mean really, I am not going to get Devin to do work and turn it in if it will not count for towards his grade any longer. I have tried, it does not work. So asking for my help when my help will really not improve his grade anyway is a waste of every one's time.
Boys, I just do not get them. I am way to use to Felicia and Mikayla and their drive to excel and do well. Why does he not? Why are boys wired so differently? Why do only wrong, improper things motivate them? Why Why Why can he not do what is expected of him? Why does he think everything should just be given to him on a silver platter! We have never done this with him (yea he is spoiled but not that spoiled) or the girls. Don't get me wrong the girls are not angles by no means. But they know when to say when so to say. Maybe girls are just a different set of problems than boys.
I just........ I just don't know how to help him anymore. I just don't know what to do with or about him anymore.