Sunday, October 25, 2009

We are in a Holding Pattern

I haven't said much lately about Devin and his goings on. Basically because that is we are in a holding pattern. He is not in trouble any longer legally with the exception of being on probation. That will not go away anytime soon. But when it comes to school the boy has mentally checked out.

For some reason this year he has decided he cannot get to his 1st or 4th hours on time. Our school district has this nifty little website that I can at anytime check in and see class work grades, attendance, tardies, special announcements, and lunch account balances. So when I noticed that he was having a problem getting to his 4th hour class I immediately emailed his principle looking for suggestions on what to do to head this off. Her response "let's wait till he gets to 10 first". Okay first off when you get to 10 tardies you get a 4 hour Saturday detention, which violates his probation (get in NO trouble in school or at home). I was very upset with this suggestion, I did not want to wait until it got out of hand. Guess the school does not believe in being proactive just reactive. SUCKS!

So I TRIED to head it off myself, explaining to Devin what will happen when he gets too many tardies. He of course gave all kinds of excuses on why he is late to just his one class. And nothing I could say would sink in. He ended up not only getting 10 tardies (which like I said got him one 4 hour detention) he got so many that he got 20 hours of detentions!

As if getting ALL these detention hours were not enough, Devin decided he would NOT do them. Which resulted in 3 days of in school suspension. And then I guess he got "bored" in that setting and goofed off. That landed him a 1 day out of school suspension. And then the next thing i know he has another 3 days in school suspension.

He did not get a clue on how his actions in school would affect him out of school. When we kept talking to him regarding just this fact he would respond every time with "my probation never said anything about tardies" and "they can't do anything about me in school".

Last Friday he was proved VERY wrong. His probation officer had us come in for a meeting, and SHE explained to Devin that what and how he behaves in school very much affects his probation. She was very upset with him and she let him know it. She explained that everything he does everywhere affects his probation and the courts decision on what to do with him. She revised his probation rules explained each in detail. Hoping I guess to make him understand the severity of the situation.

It did not sink in.
She showed up for her bi-weekly meeting with him that very next Monday. And found out from him, MD, and I that he did not follow his rules over the weekend! She was set to send him to DYS (division of youth services). Devin plead his case and talked her out of that. But he could not talk her out of sending him to Quest. Quest is a state run transition school for kids coming out of DYS or kids on their way in.

Oh did I mention that NOW the school wants to discuss Devin's progress or there lack of. Now really? I have been asking for help for the last 2 months. I explained that I would love for them to finally help me and Devin. And that I have already contacted the Learning Disabilities Association (at the request of his neurologist) and they too are reviewing his IEPs and grades. Funny thing, after I mentioned who I contacted, they never responded back to me. Still waiting.

Probation officer contacted me Friday to inform me that the Quest office will be contacting me this upcoming week to schedule and in-take meeting and get Devin transferred.

On the up side!!!!!!! Devin has been working with MD on the weekends. They have been getting along much better. And as far as his has been fabulous. That is the one thing that throws everyone. Even when he is in the principles office for the tardies, she said he was extremely pleasant to speak with. Probation officer says the same thing.

So just sitting on the holding pattern, waiting for take off.


Laggin said...


Cindi said...

I will continue to hold good thoughts that things will work out for Devin and your family with all of this.

It just seems as though a few people may be dropping the ball on this, most often being the school district. I know you work, otherwise I would suggest that you show up at school and personally escort him to the class he is always late for. Perhaps a few days of that would help him realize the seriousness of the issue.

I disagree with the principal's approach of waiting until he got 10 tardies. This should have been nipped in the bud.

Given Devin's history, I'm surprised that the probation officer let him talk her out of DYS. It was almost as though she let Devin be in charge of that meeting.

I know you only want what is best for him. I don't know if I could handle all of this as well as you have!

seeking the truth said...

now for "most" kids waiting until they got to 10 tardies would have been "okay" figuring they wouldn't want to do the detention time, would do it once and then hopefully be done with it. But I think the principal should have looked carefully at Devin's record and made a different determination. I'm glad the probation officer told him the "facts"; maybe they will sink in sooner than later. when my son was on probation, the probation officer said "I'll stay out of the school stuff if you do what you are supposed to at school, otherwise I'll be all over you there and you won't like my presence" so son never had a problem with the school

I found it takes FOREVER to get anyone to realize your child needs help with things even though you keep telling them there's a problem. I found that out the hard way dealing with issues with my daughter and her depression; people kept saying they couldn't help because she wasn't "bad" enough and when she finally got "bad" enough by their standards and I could get her evaluated, they found out she was too depressed for their programs; it is very frustrating to deal with the "system" some time in regard to this; the best you can do is just keep pushing forward and fighting the hardest you can with it

on the plus side, I'm glad Devin's been working with MD and its been going good :)

(I changed my signature and picture, didn't want to confuse you on who is commenting on your blog :)