Watch for what one wishes for.................

Yep today is Thanksgiving. And I hope all who happen across this post are found to be in good health and cheer.

I have ALL my family once again under one roof, just as I wished.

What WAS I thinking. In no time at all the arguing and teasing commenced. Oh dear Goddess it is like they are small children again, except then they were easier to manage. Time to separate them to diffuse any possible explosions.

And to add to that, it is impossible to go outside. The winter weather in Missouri has decided to finally show up. Yesterday was 24 hours (or at least felt like it) of rain. Sometime hard sometimes soft, but always falling. This morning the rain has turned to sleet, with rumors of possible snow. So we are now cave dwellers, locked up together. Pretty much why I am held up in my recliner in the office reading and writing you. Devin is at the computer with head phones and now the only noise he makes is the tapping on the keyboard. Felicia and MD watching football in the family room and Rolland with Mikayla playing some video game in the upstairs loft.

Is this what it is going to be like at holidays? Together but not? Well at least it is quiet now and leaving me wondering how long it will last. And when will they ever get along.....quietly?

Cooking round one done

Today I finished my white/dark layer cake and all but put the finishing touches on my apple spice cheesecake.

Dad I know when you read this you WILL start drooling. But this is a big no no for you mister. But you can at least enjoy the picture.

The layer cake really doesn't look like much, that is not until you cut into it and see the layers of white and dark chocolate. Bummer that my chocolate was melting off the strawberries before I took the picture.

The Apple Spice Cheese Cake needs the finishing touches of whipped cream to "dress" it up. But that will have to wait until Thursday. Cream spoils too easily. (the brown layer on top is apple butter.... YUM)

The Pumpkin Creme Brulee is also awaiting finishing touches Thursday.

So now all my desserts are complete save for the pumpkin pie MD has requested I make. I said I would head out to a store and purchase one. He said no you have to make it. The man has no idea what he is asking.................seriously I have never made pumpkin pie.

The Ethics of Harry Potter

Check it out, I just read that a school in Massachusetts is now offering a new kind of Sociology course based on Harry Potter.

The first book about a boy wizard named Harry was released in the US in 1997, which means that if you were an elementary school student (and part of the target demographic) then, you're probably a college student by now. Bridgewater State is tapping into that market by offering a sociology course based on JK Rowling's characters, and how they interact within the Potterverse.

"The Ethics of Harry Potter" is a seminar that relates the actions and motivations of Harry and his friends (and of course, his enemies as well) to the ideas of Aristotle. "(The series) speaks to fundamental questions of the human condition: What is justice? Courage? Good? Evil? Every person and every culture must ask and answer these fundamental questions."

Where were these kind of classes when I was in college? Would love to hear from someone who takes this class.

YESSS

My boss totally rocked today!

Background is I was supposed to be on vacation this week. For 11 years I have always taken this week off. Due to some changes in our clients billing requests and this being a pay week I was schedule to go into work today and tomorrow.

I went into work at 7 am to get a head start on things. When payroll was completed I started working on invoices. I presented everything to the boss before 11am. An hour later when I had not seen any progress in getting things done I ask him if he was going to be able to get to the invoices today. He said sure that he would be able to get the lump sum done, why did you want to leave early? I said no I was going nowhere today but I did not want to be here tomorrow.

Then about a half hour later he started piling invoices on my desk. Not only did he get our "lump sum" invoices completed he got our "time and material" invoices completed. As he placed the last invoice on my desk he said that any that are not completed will wait till the December billing period. Then told me to have a nice rest of the week off.

Yea he totally rocked today!

Are You Ready???

Thanksgiving is 4 days away. Are you ready? Have you purchased your turkey and other items for your meal? If not be prepared for some major lines at your local grocery. The one near my house gets crazy around the holidays.

We have not one but two turkeys. One we fry and the other we roast in the oven. I haven't decided if I am going to use a brine or injection yet. Guess I better decide soon. I am usually off work the whole week of Thanksgiving. I need that time to prepare all the food that I make (crazy since there will only be 7 at dinner this year) But this year, thanks to my companies new billing practices and payday ending this week, I need to work Monday and probably Tuesday. So today is a get my house clean and cook like a freak day.

Today I will be attempting to make an Apple Spice Cheesecake and Pumpkin Creme Brulee. If it works I will have pictures later.

Did you catch that I mentioned 7 at dinner this year? With my parents wintering in Florida and my sister doing I don't know what this year, it will be just the 5 if us (Felicia is making it home from Chicago for the holidays!). The additional 2 are some close friends of the family. Jodi (a friend of mine) has both her boys out of state. One is in school in Arizona and the other ............ well currently he in at Camp LaGune (spelling) in North Carolina. But by the time Thanksgiving gets here he will be in Afghanistan. There is no way I am letting that girl spend the holiday by herself. The other is one of Felicia's besties (as she puts it). Rolland still attends Truman but is heading to Chicago to spend time with my girl. Then they are coming here for Thanksgiving. He is from Alaska, it is an expensive and long trip for a short holiday. So he is spending it with us.

Devin's mood is still ......... grumpy, disregarding, and self serving. This makes crazy holidays a bit harder to handle and the stress level in the house in building up. You can feel it. Mikayla does not help any situation either. She adds to it. Picking arguments with Devin, telling us how WE should handle him, and telling us what SHE will and will not do, and demanding things (rides, cell phone and such). Still wondering what we did so well with Felicia and not with these two. Keep your fingers crossed that an emotional bomb doesn't go off.

Cravings

Today I woke up with the desire to cook. And not the heat something up kind of cooking. I mean make the mess in your kitchen and yourself kind of cooking.

I went to the grocery store and loaded up on some major food. So for this evenings dinner I will be serving pan seared scallops in a white Parmesan cream sauce served on a bed of angel hair pasta and sprinkled with bacon. A Cesar salad and garlic cheese bread. For desert we are having angel food cake covered with blackberries and strawberries and topped with whipped cream.

Now I had to invite some friends over because my kids will never eat what I have made and I made A LOT. And this particular meal is not good as a left over.

YUMMY

PS Just a little thought..................I cannot wait until Devin turns 18, graduates from school, and moves on. Sad but true.

Thursday

Today MD is supposed to be coming home from North Carolina. I can not explain in words how I feel about this. But giddy will do.

Maybe now I will sleep ALL NIGHT. This getting up in the wee hours of the morning is for the birds.

Just another day

Tuesday

MD is out of town for work in North Carolina. He is there until Thursday. Last night was hard to sleep without him. Then just when I was kicking the REMs the phone rings.

1 AM!! And of course it is for the child that does not even live here anymore. The boy apologized and said this was the last number he had for her, that he was a friend from high school. I said she lives in Chicago now I can't remember her cell number as I was sleeping and he can FaceBook her to get in touch with her, then hung up. It took what felt like forever before I was able to go back to sleep.

The kids have actually, so far, been tolerable. Actually Devin has a GIRL over tonight. So far she seems to be a good influence (on this only time will tell). He has been in a very good mood and playful. Even sat to dinner with me (and the girl), then he cleared dinner dishes.

Mikayla is not talking to me because I took her cell phone for the F's she received on class work last week. Devin has yet to surrender his phone due to his F's but I am not pushing it until the girl leaves.

I hope tonight I can sleep better, I hate it when MD is gone. His snoring has become my white noise. Cannot believe I actually miss it.

Heavy Sigh....................

Friday was a wild roller coaster ride. Wind in your hair can't catch your breath whip lash ride. The day started out quite, peaceful, and just me time. Got into reading/finishing a book I had just started (Fallen). About 11:30 ish we took off for the requested DRUG TEST. We have never had to do this before and we are only doing it now because 1. his grouchy attitude 2. his constant disregard for rules and 3. he flat out admitted to Ms. Probation Office that he has in fact partaken in smoking pot.

After which we headed to his meeting with Ms. Probation Officer. We go into their "chat" rooms. The chat started off well. Then WHAM it dropped, whip lashed you around a corner while dropping 100 miles an hour. I became the worst parent in the world of parents. Ms. Probation Office got mad, so much so that she swore. Now this is the most patient soft spoken lady I have ever met. And to see her get angry with him. I WAS GLAD TO SEE IT. But with him blaming me for all his woes and the end of the world, I was done. Got up and walked out. Left him there to face his music on his own.

Oh and his drug test was negative.

Ho-Hum

I wanted to post something, anything. Seeing how it usually helps clear my head out. But as I sit here staring at the screen trying to put in writing something about my day I come up blank. Don't get me wrong, I am in constant motion. Getting up at the wee hours of 5am and on the go until I drop back into my bed around 10pm. Just nothing interesting, or at least I am not thinking so. You know what I mean?

For instance today: Actually woke at 4am, probably because I was hot as hell (wonderful early menopause I guess). Fall back asleep after kicking off all the covers. Then at 5:30 MD wakes me asking WHAT I was dreaming about. He stated that I was enjoying myself quite a bit and making noises and talking. I said well if I was talking then you should KNOW what I was dreaming. He just laughed at me and rolled over. What a butt head. Oh wait I guess I could have gone into what I was dreaming about. Would have made for interesting material for sure. But probably quite embarrassing on my part. Gotta watch what books I am reading that's for sure. They are starting to leave subconscious impressions.

Finally getting up at 5:45 to get the kids up for school. Then head to the kitchen, clean up last nights dishes, smoke (yes I do), get kids up again, straighten living room, get Devin his meds and usually get him up again, then hustle them out the door Devin at 6:15 for the bus and Mikayla at 6:45 for her ride (she refuses to ride the bus when she has friends that drive). Then I hustle to the shower and get ready for work, getting me out the door by 7:30. Work from 8 to 5 (usually no lunch). Stop at store on the way home for milk and whatever I feel like making for dinner that night. Get home, search out kids, ask about chores, homework and what nots. Get dinner going, help with homework. Taxi whomever I need too to wherever they need to go. Try to hit the treadmill for 1/2 hour (yea not usually happening). Also try to hide and read for a spell. Go to bed.

Yep that is my life pretty much everyday. Boring right?

Though tomorrow I may have some interesting news. Devin and I have a couple of places we need to visit. He is NOT looking forward to them but we were told it is required. Will let you all know how THAT goes tomorrow.

Determination

Determination:

- The act of coming to a decision or of fixing or setting a purpose.
- Ascertainment, as after observation or investigation
- the settlement of a dispute, questions, etc as by authoritative decision
- the decision or settlement arrived at or pronounced

I guess you get the idea.

One of the “NEW HOUSE RULES” is the cell phone would be taken away a day for every F received on an assignment. That went for both Mikayla and Devin. I informed them that every Monday I would check the parent portal (we can see all kinds of things going on with this school-parent web access) and review the last weeks grades received. If any F’s were received then I would get the phone.

Mikayla has had a HUGE problem with particular rule. Sad thing is when I started the rule she had no F’s. Then the next week she received one, the following was two, and then this Monday when I checked she had 3. Trying to prove something????

Monday night I presented the printouts of her grades. She stammered this is stupid, why am I being so mean, Devin blab la blab la. I told her it is what it is and she could not argue with me. She was warned and the grades were in her hands, "hand over the phone".

WELL………this afternoon I received a call from my youngest child. She explained that one of the F’s were extra credit. I said it did not matter WHAT it was for, the grade was recorded and went against her final grade therefore it could not have been “extra credit”. She stated that the teacher is emailing me regarding this grade and that the web site WILL BE corrected. She then proceeded to another F stating that it was NOW a score of 15 out of 15 and therefore an A.
She then went on saying that she wanted her phone back and that I needed to stop this silliness with the F’s. I laughed and told her that it is not I that she should be upset with. She needs to stay on top of her teachers and let them know that I am checking regularly. She stated she did just that and repeated “I want my phone back”.

Holy crap the kid went after her teachers! I defiantly am raising them to stand up for themselves and do right……at least the girls that is. Or maybe I am raising Debaters or Lawyers. Definitely not going to get walked over.

Just goes to show:

A Gremlin Lives in My House

What a whirl wind week. Devin FREAKS out because his girlfriend breaks up with him. That I think he could have dealt with except it was because the "made out" with one of his friends at a party. That is what really made him mad.

So huge fits were thrown, threats of going out to fight with this friend. THANK THE GODDESS he just went on Facebook a swore like a sailor and complained about life. I will take that form of venting over destroying any part of my house and property which he is so known for when he gets that upset.

Then today his probation officer shown up at school for one of their meetings. He found out that I held up my threat. He didn't seem that upset.. Yes that would be weird he is always upset when I talk to his probation officer. When I arrived home from work I was anticipating a huge yelling match. When I opened the door I got nothing at all what I expected. He CALMLY talked with me about what they discussed. Told me how scared he was. That he knows he messed up over the weekend. But he told me Sunday night that he was going to be better and he meant it (which actually this week he HAS been pretty good). We talked I mean talked.

About an hour later he came up to me discussing math and how easy it has been and how he is going to ace this upcoming test. Then asked if I would take him to the school football game. When I dropped him off he walked to my side of the car leaned in and said "come here and give me a hug". IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDS EVEN. Then walking away he said "love you".

Now I would normally NEVER EVER complain about this. What mother would. I mean really this is always what I wanted from him. To do what was asked, do well at school, be considerate of his family. But this has rarely ever been something Devin has done. And when he has been like this he either has wanted something and/or never lasts more than a few days.

he even just now called to ask what he should do about a situation at the game. One of his friends got into some trouble with a police officer at the game. Devin said he walked away, but didn't know what he should do. I told him to either catch up with his sister or I could come pick him up. he chose his sister, and said that there was no way he was going back where his friend was, he didn't want to be associated with him. He can't afford to get in trouble.

So here I am loving the moment, and biting my nails waiting for the other shoe to fall.

The Boy Is Going To Learn the Hard Way

After Friday Nights adventures, Mikayla and Devin were both told that they were grounded. For a week. I will give Mikayla kudos as she pouted but threw no fits. And she refused to had out candy saying "I am not handing candy to the little monsters". Okay she WAS going to be one of those little monsters but whatever.

At dinner (which I ate cold with having to answer the door ever other minute) MD asked Mikayla why she was not out with her friends for Halloween. REALLY!!!??? She replied, um dad I am grounded, remember. He just looked at me and said really it's Halloween.

I am now totally dumbfounded. He is the one who said they were grounded! Anyway, he told her that she could go if she still wanted. I then mentioned that he has to let Devin go also. He said oh no. Again though his offences were worse I said you can't undo for one and not the other. At that point Mikayla informed us that Devin was gone and no longer at home. Again REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I verified her statement by checking the entire house for him. And yes he was gone! Little Shit! I went straight to the computer, pulled up facebook, found his girlfriend, and sent her a note: Girlfriend, please let Devin know I am calling Shae (probation officer)tomorrow, thanks, Devin's mom. (remember I took his cell phone away for poor grades)

Oh, yea that got a VERY quick response. He called (now I have girlfriends cell number ha ha) and tried explaining that they were just trick r treating. I repeated the fact I said they were grounded. He PROMISED not to be home past his curfew. At this point I was mad, and when I am really mad I usually just say whatever is in my head. So I just called him a liar, and that he has to now deal with his own consequences. He started pleading at that point and I hung up. He called back and pleaded some more and I hung up. He couldn't have been that worried, or maybe he just figured that since he was in trouble anyway he might as well make the most of it. Because he didn't come hoe for another 2.5 hours at his curfew.

Yes I am going to speak with Probation Officer about what I can do with him. Of course I want to try to handle this on our own before she has to get further involved, because that is a road I really don't want to have to go down again. But he is going to have to learn he can not walk all over me anymore. Now I mean business, well I always have but he didn't believe it so now he will.

I informed him last night that he would be grounded a month. If he wants to see girlfriend (which is why he keeps leaving) then she needs to come here. He will get a job, he will not receive any more tardies at school, he will not receive any F's on assignments, he will do chores, he will stop cursing, he will jump threw any hoop I give him and not argue about it. He was soo scared that I was "turning him in" he agreed to everything. Tonight I will have him sign an agreement and let him know that Shae will also be signing it as a witness. Though I am sure she is going to have some amendments, which he is going to have to deal with.

I hate that we have become a Jail house, but I have been given no other options.

No Children Allowed

Last weekend we attended a Halloween Party. It was a nice escape from my own issues so I was looking forward to it. BUT it was costume require. I have of late NOT been in a creative mood. So I relied on my sister this year for my costume.

She wore this last year. And of course everyone loved it and teased MD about what a great way to keep me quiet. Yea thanks guys love you all also! (Yes I do know they were teasing).

No I really don't know anybody, though there were two other neighbors there that I did know. But as always MD had a great time (this was one of his construction clients)

These are our hosts. Last year they were Bill and Sooky from True Blood. I think it is cute how they always do couple costumes.

Then this past Friday (yes the night that seemed hell broke loose here) we attended another Halloween party. Some ex neighbors (miss them a lot) had us to their new house for a party.

Laure has the bubbliest personality and you can not help but love her.

And Jim makes the best beer and port around.

Karen (another neighbor) was there and we all played catchup. And yes we are silly together, but because we can it makes good fun.

This couple smuggled in Kentucky moonshine. Never had moonshine before..............it was surprisingly good. But Goddess you DO NOT want to drink much of it or you will be on your butt quick.

I could not put myself through another night of full face paint. So I found the "static cling" idea and went with it. Walked around all night with underwear, socks, and dryer sheets pinned to me. Not overly fancy, but hey my face did not feel like it was peeling off.

Of course after Devin & Mikayla pulled their stunts. And after I gave myself some Blogging therapy (yes I have found that if I spill my guts here and divulge all our personal laundry for the world to see I feel microscopically better), and Devin was not home yet, MD went to work on someones deck. I decided yesterday that I needed to get out and escape being a mom, wife, maid, chauffeur, cook,.....etc.

Some girlfriends and I took off for wine country. It was may I say AMAZING.

We (me) polished off two bottles of wine and had a beautiful family/responsibility free afternoon. We seem to have all needed it at least that was the consensus.

Isn't Augusta just amazing in October???

Then again I am a nature freak and am more level amongst the trees.

For those inquiring minds..........MD got home around 5pm, Devin was home. They had some sort of discussion but just now my brain is nonfictional and I cannot remember it. MD asked Devin wehn he got home, Devin replied an hour ago. MD asked Devin why he bothered and that Devin could go back to where ever he was last night. Devin's response "I can't I am not 17 yet so I will get in trouble".

Dude really! You were not 17 Friday night either, so would that not equal to you getting into trouble anyway???

Oh, and for those that are interested and live in the state of Missouri (not sure if it is the same in other states). If your child is 17 years of age, he/she can come and go at will and want. No matter what your rules are or if there is a home enforced curfew. If said child decides they do not want to come home they do not have too (nope not a damn thing you can do). But you cannot keep them from re-entering the house either.

It seems that (and i have verified this with law officials) the age of 17 is a "gray" area. 17 year old are NOT considered run aways if they do not come home, but you are also not allowed to throw them out either until they are 18. SOOOOOO what that means is that your child can tell you to go to hell and leave as long as they like and come home when they like. BUT YOU ARE STILL RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS WHILE THEY ARE GONE.

I am just saying...................

We Are Falling Apart At The Seems

What can you do with/to a teen who disregards everything you say. Has no care for your authority. Pushes you to your breaking point every minute of every day?

This is where MD and I are at. We have tried rewarding as well as punishments. We try to be fair. But in the end we are basically told they will do what they want when they want and we have no right to be upset, angry, or disapproving.

REALLY!

At this very moment I can not think of the word I want to use (probably because I can only see/think red) but I believe it is entitled. They think they are entitled to have everything just given to them and to do as they see fit..........................oh how wrong they will see they are.

It became painfully clear last night. MD and I had been planning on attending a Halloween party at a old neighbor's (they just moved two weeks ago). Both kids knew we were going as they were first told that they were going to go with us, then it was decided to not be "kid friendly" so I told them they didn't have to go.

I get home from work right behind MD. We get into the house, no kids, no notes on their whereabouts. We leave for the party. Still no calls or text messages (though Devin's phone has not been returned to him due to poor grades). Sometime around 9 pm I get a text from Mikayla ............. when are you picking me up? Picking her up? I don't even know where she is. With some text bickering back and forth MD and I decide to leave the party go get her (oh and play taxi to others again without knowledge of this till we show up) and go home to an empty house. Mind you it is now after 11pm.

No Devin. His COURT APPOINTED curfew is 9pm. I sit reading/playing on the computer till midnight, still no Devin. MD stands looking at me asking what we have done wrong as parents? All I can do is shrug my shoulders and say too him..........."we gave them too much". That is the only thing I can see we have done WRONG.

At this point MD is fuming and all I can think is that Devin is bringing this on himself. MD goes around and verifies that all windows and doors are lock. Locks the garage door. This way he HAS to ring the front door bell if he wants in (and it is like 30 something degrees outside). No Devin all night, even as I write this, no Devin.

So this morning I have removed ALL electronics from his room and will be "cleaning it out" shortly. I informed MD that Mikayla will be receiving the same removal from her room.

With things bouncing around in my head I have decided that a formal listing of "HOUSE RULES" need to be inforced. Following is list of rules that I have come up with and enforced (how I just have not figured out yet) at the MD House:

1. No electronics what so ever in bedrooms (this means laptops, TVs, I-touches (Internet access) etc.

2. No more eating in bedrooms

3. Curfews WILL BE OBEYED

4. No F's allowed on any assignment (we currently take the cell phone away a day for every F that is why Devin still does not have his back)

5. Chores will be posted and completed before I get home from work.

6. Devin will apply and obtain a job within a month. All funds will be stopped in 30 days. No more money for lunches he can make a lunch a bring it from home. He is after all 16 and since he has no desire to do homework or sports he can go to work.

7. No longer will disrespectful talking be allowed. If your mad, fine but go to your room and work it out there.

8. Absolutely no one is allowed in the house while MD and I are not home.

9. The Internet will be allowed only on one computer in the house and you will have to ask permission to get on it. Oh yea there will be a password on it.

I am sure I will think of more as the day goes on but this is what I have come up with so far. So now I am trying to think of "punishments" for breaking these rules. With Mikayla that is not too hard. Grounding and taking the cell phone away still works for the most part. It is Devin who is going to be the challenge. I mean if he is not afraid of breaking probation rules (which he know will get him sent back to court) what could I possibly do to him?

Like I said falling apart at the seams

Check it Out St. Louis Made the Top 10!!!

Someone actually put St. Louis in the top 10 list, and NOT for its crime rate!

Best Online Colleges Online.net had an article

10 Best Haunted House Attractions. You can click the link or if you are lazy (like me) I have put most of the story here. Well the St. Louis Part.

Today’s haunted house attractions are more terrifying and believable than ever before, thanks to state-of-the-art animatronics, visual effects and talented actors that have the power to scare just about anyone and everyone. Expert ratings and reviews say these haunted houses are the best of the bunch and the best boo! for your buck.

1.The Darkness Haunted House
Missouri is the Show-Me State, and St. Louis will show you a frightening time at its renowned haunted house, The Darkness. The Darkness features two floors of your worst nightmares, as monsters, ghouls and 3D clowns and killer circus animals chase and taunt you till the very end. Expect new additions to The Darkness this Halloween, such as a turn-of-the-century funeral home with mirror mazes, ancient graveyards and an animated falling barrel wall.

Going to have to ask Devin his opinion on this particular topic. He has been to several this year alread. And I know this was one of them. So if you happen to be in the St. Louis area this Halloween weekend maybe you should stop by and get a frightful!

I crack myself up sometimes.

Never want to do that again

Collin's funeral was harder than I expected. Facing Debbie & Steve was the hardest thing I think I have done to date. MD gave Felicia and I trouble (teasing trouble) later in the evening. Saying that they (Deb & Steve) seem to be holding up great considering the situation. That was until they took one look at us (Felicia and I) and lost it.

Yea, I have to admit it was a cry fest when we greeted them. Steve hugged me so tight I couldn't breath then he just looked at Felicia and started sobbing. I mean not just tears, the man was sobbing. It broke my heart. Then as I turned to Debbie, I tried to smiled a little, she let out a squeak and that was all it took we both started crying. MD looked lost and very uncomfortable, he absolutly hates seeing me upset or crying. and he knew there was absolutly nothing he could do to help any of us at that moment. We have never had to deal with this type of situation before, I mean we have had family members / fridnes pass. Of course they were either old, sick or both. So dealing with this type of death was difficult. None of us said a thing to each other, all we could do was hug.

As we approached Collin's casket it was very difficult to keep our composure. Felicia was crying so hard and turning side to side. Looking at her, it made you think that she was trying to figure out which way she run to get out of the church. In the end she just leaned into my arms and cried. I have never felt so helpless in my life. Nothing I could do could fix anything. MD just put his arms around us and led us to the side of the church and walked us out.

Collin's entire Fraternity came and did some sort of service gathered around his casket. It was moving to say the least.

What was heart wrenching was watching grown men talk about things they remember about Collin and having to stop because the would start crying. Seeing grown men cry always tears at my heart.

One of Collin's and Felicia's friends (he was one of Collin's best & longest friends) found Felicia and I. Grabbed us and hugged us. He looked horrible, not doing very well with the situation at all. Poor boy could only nod, couldn't say a word. Sadness engraved so deep on his face, again I could say nothing to ease his pain. Chris had told Felicia the day before he had come to terms with Collin being gone but from what I saw, he apparently had not.

After the services they had a dinner provided for everyone. We couldn't handle staying any longer. We found Steve and Debbie said (cried) our goodbyes. They threatened kidnapping if Felicia didn't make it by when she came back in town. I told Deb if she wished, the next trip I made to Chicago she could come. She said she would look forward to that, thinking it actually would be a nice get away. They have always told Felicia she was the daughter they never had, they had only boys.

A Trip to Chi Town

Now for a happy story. Earlier this month Mikyla, Nipa, and I took a road trip to Chi town to visit Felicia and check out her new spot she calls home.

She lives in a lovely tree lined community. All the streets look like this. I wish that our neighborhoods here would do this, it is gorgeous!

She lives in a northern suburb of Chicago, and with traffic and parking in the city the way it is we opted to take the train into the city. Besides Mikayla has never been on a train. So mark one off the new experience to do list.

It didn't make the trip any shorter, but at least I didn't have to pay attention to where I was going or who was in my way. Besides Chicago seems to have road construction EVERYWHERE.

We went to Navy Pier (not first but close). We saw pirates fighting and scurrying about.

Then they saw the girls...........and grabbed them.............

.....and you know I always have my camera on the ready.

But I think the girls liked the attention too. They were not shy at all about getting dragged to the side of the pier to pose with some older boys.

Mikayla even attracted some shrimp LOL.

We traveled around the city on the hop on and off Bus. Which at first I was a bit sticker shocked at the ticket prices ($30 a person) but then we were jumping on and off all day at different places around the city. So we figured what we would have to pay for taxi fare to do what we did.........I saved a bundle!

(me taking a picture of Nipa taking a picture of me)

Mikayla fussed at me for taking this picture. But the way I look at it is if you going to "dress" to stand out like this you deserve to have your picture taken and then plastered all over the Internet (or at least my blog and FaceBook pages). Besides they really didn't seem to mind that I was standing there just clicking away.

I was totally NOT listening to our tour guide on the bus and missed what they called this blob of Mercury looking stuff. But it was pretty cool. Felicia had Mikayla and I lay on the ground underneath it to get this odd looking picture. She explains that everyone wants this picture (though I saw no one else laying on the ground)

It was an amazingly beautiful weekend. Thought for sure it was going to be cold (news channels stated also that it would be) but we could have not asked for a more beautiful day. Defiantly wore ourselves out. I am looking forward to another visit. But this time instead of an "all over city tour" we will pinpoint a street or location and concentrate on those. With enough visits I'll get to see absolutely everything in the city.

Collin Camren Davis

I write today with great sorrow. A young man close to our family (especially Felicia) has passed away this morning. Collin Camren Davis was only 21 years old, attended Rolla University (now known as Missouri Tech).

He like to tell me he was getting a degree to legally blow things up. Yep that was Collin.

He and Felicia dated for a while. They split as friends and have been close ever since. MD and I often thought that they would end up back together as did his parents. Those two were inseparable.

I can only imagine how his parent's are feeling just now. I send them my deepest sympathies and all my love.

Collin

May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind be always at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face;

the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,

may the Goddess hold you in the palm of her hand.

Hi

I know I have been gone, sorry.

I will be back soon. I am trying to put things together. It has been hard but we are mucking thru it.

Monica

MUMs the word

It is just wrong to be at work today. The weather is absolutely beautiful, there is a slight breeze, and the sky is clear blue. Just makes working indoors very hard.

Upside after today I am on vacation again for a week!

Going to plant some mums, they are most beautiful to look at this time of year. And I want to capture some of that beauty in my back yard.

The red and orange ones are my favorites. My sister keeps telling me I am a fall color person. Likes to tease that is what I have decorated my house in also. I fear she is correct. But how could one not just LOVE the warm feeling fall colors give off? I mean really.

Guess I should get some work done so I can scoot out of here this afternoon with a clear conscious.

Holy cow that is a lot of food!!!

Sooooo Hi.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, I have subjected myself to a Boot Camp. Which is doing exactly as promised......................kicking my jiggly butt into shape. But what I am not sure if I have ever mentioned is that I have a weirdly high metabolism. So when every I am doing any activity I have to increase my caloric intake. Now I am not complaining (well actually I am) but I think 3,000 calories is a bit much.

Have you EVER tried eating 3,000 calories of nutritious food? Oh, and NOT feel like you are going to explode. The closest I got to that was 2,278. And that was only because we went to Olive Garden for Dinner and I had the Smoked Mozzarella Fonduta. That WAS SOOO GOOD.

My average day is usually 1,600 to 2,000 calories. My instructors are not very happy but going to the gym 3 times a week, 1 night a week of volley ball, mowing the yard and doing other yard work, and cleaning the entire house every weekend tends to get in the way of eating. Winter time will be different. That is when we eat a lot of our favorite "heavy" foods.


BOO it is time to go get some more food for the trough!

Our Home Is Back To Four

Our house of five is going back to a house of four.

Felicia has found a "big girl" job. This poor kid had no idea that LOOKING for a full-time job was in fact a full-time job in itself. The St. Louis area of late has not been the best place for someone looking for a position of employment. Felicia has found that out the hard way. It seems that ole bachelors degree doesn't open the doors it use too. NOW for the same jobs I looked at 3 years ago (the ones that wouldn't look at you unless you had that bachelors degree no matter how many years experience you had) are now wanting experienced applicants. Ones with 5 plus years of it AND a bachelors degree. She has been complaining that she is having exact opposite problem I was having when I went looking for a job. I had all the experience no degree, she has the degree no experience. (Viscous circle it is)

So with fire under her feet she expanded her job market search. She has friends in Boston, New York, and Kansas City. They were all selling her on why she should move to their city to look for a job. Of course all these cities have a better job market then St Louis just now. In the end she opted for Chicago. She has friends there, and "home" is only a short distance. So she can be here or us there is relatively a short amount to time.

Honestly though I think the deciding factor was this guy:

Let me introduce you to Jon.

They met in college, of course not until the December before she graduated. They were "party" friends. Or at least that is how it sounded to me. And he lives near Chicago. They started "dating" after graduation and have been doing the distance thing since. Both of them seem to have a good head on their shoulders about this relationship.

With what little MD and I know of Jon we like him. He pushes and challenges Felicia in ways the fiance never did. When she asks what we think of Jon my response is always:

"We don't know him well enough to like or dislike him, but what we DO LIKE is the way you are now with him"

That answer is the most honest answer I can give. My feelings behind it all: 1. He graduated college, 2. He has a good work ethic, 3. We never hear him talk down to her, 4. They don't fight over everything, 6. He does not seem to be the jealous type, and 7. Treats her with respect.

This we like.

After only a few short days she landed a job and now has been looking for a place to live. I have mixed feelings about this great adventure she is about to embark. I am excited for her as she is taking life by the horns and being brave enough to go the distance to achieve what she wants. Sad that I am 5 hours away and will not be right there to catch her when she stumbles and my support has to be from a distance.

But in the end MD and I are very proud of our little adventurer and we are confident that she will claim all the spoils that she goes after.

Monday workout

Bootcamp Day 3 - Sorry I forgot to update Friday.

Run a mile

Stretch......lots of stretching

Then every freaking kind of lung you can think of 2 minutes each. mountain climber lunge, standing lunges, etc. we did enough lunges to last 15 minutes!

Jump rope for 2 minutes

Then relay sprints for 10 minutes.

Now time for sit ups, not crunches, full on sit ups for another 2 minutes. Now another 5 minutes of stretching and scoot on home.

Now for Monday

Warm up 5 minutes of stretching.

Go run a mile.

NOW PREPARE TO PAY TO PIPER

All the following excersizes are done for a minute each. After each group (2 minutes) sprint for a minute.

1. Barbell deadlift

2. 20 foot hop scotch

3. trampoline jumps

4. mini hurdles

5. Jump rope

6. Reverse push ups (using a chair)

7. bar bell lifts

8. leg shuffles (yea that one is hard to explain)

then stretch and scoot home.

Tomorrow will fill ya in on Tuesday's Boot camp!

Wednesday in a nut shell

Wednesday was a “day of rest” or at least according to my instructors it was supposed to be. I on the other hand seem to like torturing myself. Wednesday nights are my sand volley ball nights. And last night was a double header, instead of playing just three games we played six and for some reason over half our team didn’t show. The 6:30 game we had 5 players but we fared well. Won 2 lost 1. Our 8:30 game we had two more show up and we had a volunteer (we really needed another guy) join us. The 8:30 set was an amazing game. We only won one game but it was oh so close in points on all three. We seemed well matched with the other team as we had volleys that seem to last forever. It was great and very enjoyable.

Except for this morning I am very much feeling my age. Chest, arms, thighs all ache. And tonight is Boot Camp again. I have no idea what they have in store for me to do but I can pretty much guarantee that I will NOT be doing pushups!

Devin and Mikayla’s first day of school was yesterday. They both came home in good moods and never complained once about being back. Devin actually told Felicia he was glad to be back at West and is going to “try hard to pass all his classes on time so he will graduate when he was supposed to”. I WAS SHOCKED! We will see how long THAT outlook lasts. Don’t get me wrong, I am not expecting him to fail. But you gotta know Devin and his mental status changes are changing frequently. I am just taking one day at a time with him. It is a good day when we don’t have police at our door, or screaming going on.

Felicia is on her way to Chicago as I type this. She has a job interview as soon as she gets into town. Then she will be heading to her new boy friend’s house for the rest of the weekend. She has two other interviews back here next week. But I think she is really hoping to get the one in Chicago. We shall see.

Boot Camp Day Two

Last night was an experience........that is all I have to say.

First off we casually walked around for 10 minutes "warming up" our legs and such. Then the rest of the assessments commenced.



We did as many sit ups (NOT crunches) as we could in 2 minutes. I did 42



Next we did as many push ups as we could in 2 minutes. Here I only did 22.
I have tendinitis in both elbows and shoulders (this I will talk about in a bit) so it got very painful after about 17.



Then they gave us (well everyone but me) a sheet showing how many calories, fat, carbs, & proteins we are to be consuming a day. They also had on the sheet our body fat percentage. Again I did not get a sheet because my weird little body stumped them. I was promised that I would have one emailed to me today (so far have not gotten it). The reason they are stumped with me is that many years ago I started getting the shakes and dizzy spells (passing out most of the time). I went to the doctor was run through a bunch of tests and the answer I received was that I have an extremely high metabolism. Perfectly healthy otherwise. Also found out that my blood pressure is freakishly low. (last check 86/62) Now before you go off cursing me like most people do, take a breath and imagine:



You HAVE to eat something every two hours, you HAVE to have like 6 meals a day, and you HAVE to eat as close to 3,000 calories a day as possible. AND if you work out or are active increase that number. I have to carry food with me everywhere.



Now while most of you may think .... awww poor her, she HAS to eat. I have passed out at county fairs, on the job, and friends houses and pretty much scaring the crap out of everyone. My sister once said she watched come out of a room fall against the wall and kind of shimmied down to the floor. She said she didn't know what to do so she shook me (we were teens at the time). I usually am not out for long and am usually pale, sweaty and vomiting afterwords. Not a pretty site by any means.



OOPS Sorry got carried away there, back to the boot camp.



So now I am sitting there listening to the discussions regarding tracking food portions, calorie counting, protein counting and such and I must have had a dazed lost look on my face because the instructor giggled and asked if I understood. I could only answer ........ NO. I have never had to do such a thing and I would have no idea how or where to start. They gave me this cool web site



http://www.sparkpeople.com/



I just put in what and how much I eat and it does the rest for me. This "journaling" is something we have to do everyday without exceptions. And we need to either email it to them daily or bring it to class so they can see where we are at and how we are doing. After the little dietary pep talk we went and ran 1/2 mile.



Plus side!!!!! One of the trainers is a massage therapist for athletes. She said that she will work with me on getting my elbows and shoulders back. She said (and I have heard this before) that I have A LOT of scar tissue especially in the shoulders. Damn tendinitis. And she will be giving me exercises to help strengthen the muscles there.



So far here are my stats that I know:



Height 5' 4"

Weight 129 pounds

Bust 37.5 inches (I have Never been this big without being pregnant! YEA BOOBS)

waist 28 inches

Hips 37 inches

Upper Arm 9 inches (why they measured this and what it means I have no idea)

Body fat percentage 16 %



Mile run 10 minutes flat

Site Ups 42

Push Ups 22



They measured more but that was all I could remember. At the end of six weeks I was GUARANTEED shrinkage in my measurements and increases in mile, sit ups, and push ups.

Now we get a day off. Thursday in the actual first day of abuse (that quoted directly from my instructor). So can I get a big Hu-Ahh (Hu-Rah is marines and we are Army so I have been told)

HU-AHH

Hoo-Ahhh

Yesterday I had my first night at Boot Camp Challenge. It was the first assessment night. They pinched all my jiggly parts and wrote down measurements (Yes I will post them as soon as I get them from my trainer). None of which made me feel very good, ugh I dislike my jiggly parts!

I have a class of 7, so it is nice and small. BUT that also means I get a lot of personal attention from the trainers. So if I am slacking at all they will be all over me.

I was asked by friends to keep a log of everything we do and what the nutritionist have us eat. This second part may be a bit hard for others to follow as the nutritionist set up diets or eating habits for each individual. My doctor years ago said that I am supposed to eat upwards of 3000 calories a day, especially when I am exercising. So my friends you may not want to follow my food intake list.

So for you CRAZY people who want to do boot camp along with me (just a day behind) go do your mile run/jog/walk. My time was 10 minutes for a mile.

My daughter was very proud of me for this time seeing how I am over 40 years old, a smoker, and haven't run THAT far in years. (her words exactly).

Check back tomorrow for what was dished out this evening!

The Amazing Things That Come Out of Their Mouths.

Yes I know it has been quit a while since I have been here. Sorry. My mind has been blown and I am trying to piece it back together. But I had to just share this story if for no other reason then when I look back years from now at this blog journal of things I will see this story and laugh.

School is getting ready to begin on the 18th. Part of me can't wait for it to start. The other part is dreading the morning arguments that come with getting my son to get up and ready for school. Ahhh but that tid bit is for another post.

So with the anticipation of school starting comes getting schedules, school pictures, etc. Devin's day to pick up schedules was last Tuesday. We decide to do this task in the afternoon due to the before mentioned not getting up in the morning problem. I leave work at noon and call him on my way home to (warn) let him know I am on my way. When I get home I head straight to my room to change into something more comfortable (St. Louis temps have been hovering in the high 90s with heat indexes going into the 100s) because my jeans were sticking to my legs.

I come downstairs and my LOVELY son looks at me and we continue with this conversation:

Devin: Is that what you are wearing?

Me: (For just a second I am stunned into silence.) Did you really just ask me that?

Devin: Yea, it looks like you just got out of bed.

Me: (stunned again) Seriously, you just asked me that? This from you who just picked up something off the floor, smelled it to make sure it was from the "clean" area in your room?

Devin: Well if your going to wear that, are you going in the building with me?

Mind you, what I am wearing is a pair of shorts (I wear the gym type) and a T-Shirt.

Me: Umm, yes I am going in. I AM the one who has to pay for everything. ($30 for school pictures, $50 for yearbook, $60 lunch account, etc)

Devin: Really you look like you just rolled out of bed. I don't want to be seen with you.

Me: (super stunned) Dude (yes I say that word) you are wrinkled, wild hat hair, and barely match and you are embarrassed to go with me? Who do you think we are going to see. Your friends look like they haven't showered for days and dress about the same as you. So who else am I having to impress?

He has NEVER made a comment about what I wear, style of my clothes. Never. This was just out of the blue weird for him. Though he did go upstairs and change his shirt, and comb his hair. Really who was he trying to impress?

At this point I just shook my head, went upstairs and put a tank top on. THIS he approved of! Strange kid.